Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Struggling With Suicide
April is the month of Suicide, but since COVID-19 we see grandparents going through struggles such as being out of work, losing their homes, struggling with health and financial hardships and their grandchild/ren’s depression or anger issues may go unnoticed. We see our grandchild/ren bullying or harassing others leading the victimized child/ren to take their own life. We see our grandchild/ren go through separation and feeling like my life cannot go on, and the only peace may be suicide.
Questions we as grandparents may ask ourselves:
How did this happen?
What went wrong with our grandchild/ren?
How did I not notice this as a grandparent?
Grandparents when our grandchild/ren turn to suicide it is complicated, we would have never expected this of our grandchild/ren, but there may be some issues that may cause our grandchildren to commit suicide such as:
Depression
Bipolar disorders
Schizophrenia
Alcohol
Drugs
Bullying
Isolation
Lonely
Suffering from separation
These are medical disorders that may have a chemical imbalance that prevents our grandchild/ren from thinking clearly. Our grandchild/ren may tell themselves that the world is better off without them. They may feel they need to save others. They may feel killing themselves would be better. When our grandchild/ren become confused ending their pain with ending their life. What can we as grandparents do, if we have a grandchild/ren we love is struggling and we are worrying about them committing suicide?
Here are four steps that we can take to get our grandchild/ren professional help:
Grandparents do not ignore it. Remember you cannot talk your grandchild/ren into suicide and bringing it up will not make them act on it. Once you start asking your grandchild/ren questions you may begin a dialogue with them where they begin to feel safer and more willing to talk about their pain or problems with you. Our grandchild/ren are exposed to bullying not just in school, but on social media and texting.
Make a doctor’s appointment for your grandchild/ren right away. Their Pediatrician is an excellent place to start to assess why your grandchild/ren is depressed. When our grandchild/ren are going through puberty they may become depressed this is not uncommon. Their doctor can diagnosis if there is a concern with hormonal changes or possible medication reactions if they are taking medications for any specific reasons.
Grandparents look for a good Counselor. Sometimes our grandchild/ren are shameful of their situations or find it difficult to talk to their grandparents about what they are feeling. By having another person or a counselor can help our grandchild/ren receive the special care, support and protection they may need to be able to trust another person. Then once the problem is out in the open, it will be much easier for our grandchild/ren to deal with. Always remind your grandchild/ren you are on their team and you will not leave their side. Make sure we as grandparents reassure our grandchild/ren that this bad time will pass in their life.
Grandparents have your grandchild/ren sign a contract with you that they will not kill themselves. With the help of their Counselor, we can make a family pact that your grandchild/ren will not do anything to hurt themselves. This may require keeping careful watch for possible dangerous or difficulties on the part of the grandparents to spend the night watching your grandchild/ren, but this will give reassurance to our grandchild/ren that they are held in love and they can count on their grandparents to help and protect them. Always alert everyone teachers, counselors, crises centers in helping your grandchild/ren be safe so they can get through this time feeling that they have support and confidence.
Grandparents never forget that when your grandchild/ren is contemplating suicide they are looking for weapons. Please remove these items out of their reach:
Guns
Knives
Belts
Scarves
Ropes
Neck ties
Extension cords
Bleach